Friday, December 09, 2011

Avoid the produce section, ladies!

It's not what it  looks like! The latest from the “So Crazy it has to be True” department:

An Egyptian news outlet has a report that is causing an unusual stir. According to the Bikya Masr news service, an Islamic cleric in Europe has ordered Muslim women to prevent “sexual thoughts” by staying away from bananas, cucumbers, carrots, zucchini, and other phallic produce.

The unnamed sheikh reportedly advises that if women wanted to eat these kinds of food they would need to be cut into smaller pieces, in private, by a man — preferably a relative — because the foods “resemble the male penis” and could “make them think of sex.”

Of course, we all know that those objects don’t just make women think of sex. George Carlin alluded to the same thing in his 1990 stand-up special “Doin’ It Again.” Maybe he should have just suggested that everybody stay away from them?

I don’t know, but I’m thankful they’re not banned. Because I’m a guy. And guys are pigs.

It’s Science™.

(Image Source)

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Hitler reacts

The “Hitler reacts to…” meme has to be one of my favorites of all time. And now, he reacts to the pepper spray meme

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Bowling on pot

Yes, this actually happened. I'm in Texas on vacation and my brother takjed Jen and I into bowling no-taps with him. Anyway, one of the goofy things they do with it is the toilet shot, which is just what it sounds like. You buy tickets to enter and if you get a strike you win 50 bucks. Knock down 5 and you get a gift card. Well, I bought a couple tickets and my name was drawn.

I threw a gutter ball.

Trust me, it's way harder than you'd think.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

So, um, yea, major life change or something like that.

Monday I took Beyonce's advice and put a ring on it. No, not on Beyonce, but my now-fiancee.

No date has been set.

Friday, November 11, 2011


The Phoenix Zoo has a really cool monkey habitat where you actually walk into their enclosure and they’re moving in the trees all around you. Very cool for pictures.

Zoowalk 074

Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Phoenix Zoo is doing it wrong (not really)

Look at the Phoenix Zoo, caging the people and letting the animals run free!

Zoowalk 055

No, not really, but the picture sure makes it look that way, doesn’t it?

Saturday, October 22, 2011

It’s the end of the world as we… oh, wait!

Remember those folks that said the rapture was going to be back in May? Well, they also said that the world would end yesterday, so I have a song for them:

Related: The post-rapture theme song

Monday, August 01, 2011

Obama: Free birth control for everybody! (if you can afford health insurance)

Birth control shouldn’t require a copay:

Health insurance plans must cover birth control as preventive care for women, with no copays, the Obama administration said Monday in a decision with far-reaching implications for health care as well as social mores.

The requirement is part of a broad expansion of coverage for women's preventive care under President Barack Obama's health care law. Also to be covered without copays are breast pumps for nursing mothers, an annual "well-woman" physical, screening for the virus that causes cervical cancer and for diabetes during pregnancy, counseling on domestic violence, and other services.

I’m not even going to get into the “should it or shouldn’t it” debate, because that’s not the point I want to make here.

To me, this just seems a bit backwards since there are meds out there that can actually, you know, save lives, that are still going to require copays whereas “the pill” won’t.

It just doesn’t seem right to me…

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Saturday, May 21, 2011

The Rapture Day Giveaway

MLB All-Star Game Garden GnomeWhat do I have planned for Rapture Day?

I’ll be at the Diamondbacks game hopefully claiming one of the little guys over to the right.

It’s not like I’m expecting much of a game. Yea, the Diamondbacks are playing just short of .500 ball. The Twins, on the other hand, are in a tooth-and-nail battle with the Astros for the first pick in the 2012 draft.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

So now we have milkshakes

This exchange happened between Jen and I as she was trying to get me to go get milkshakes:

Jen: Why are you still here?
Me: I won't be for long.
Jen: Where ya goin?
Me: to hang with my other girlfriend, the one that doesn't nag me to go get her milkshakes.
Jen: I don't blame you. Bring me back a shake when you come home.
Me: You win.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Random Thoughts brought to you by Android

I just downloaded the Blogger app for Android on to my new phone and am testing it out wittis post.

Yea, that's right, the guy who always said that he'd never want a smartphone because of his bekief that there is such a thing as "too connected" got one. Try to not be too shocked.

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Super bowl predictions

Yea, I know I killed off doing this last year in exchange for Super Bowl Bingo, but I decided to bring the predictions back this year.

Anyway… here goes.

The game: I’m going Steelers. It bit me in the rear two years ago when I didn’t.

The spread: The Packers are favored by 3 by (where I’ve decided to get my numbers from this year), and since I’ve got Pittsburgh winning, I’ve got them for the spread too.

Over/Under: has the over/uder set at 45½. I think it’ll go over, but probably not by much.

We’ll see how this goes…