Texas UIL announces steroids testing rules, student-athletes react

(Another fine mediocre JRT parody)

AUSTIN (JRT) - The University Interscholastic League yesterday released it's proposal for steroids testing procedures for high school sports. The sanctioning body of Texas high school sports is seeking comments on the program.

Highlights of the program include random testing of about 3% of high school athletes, will not screen for illegal drugs, and will allow parents to witness the testing procedure.

Under the program, a first positive would bench an athlete for a month and require a positive test before they could be reinstated. A second positive would ban them for a year and a third would result in a permanent ban.

"We think it'll be a reasonable deterrent." said Seamour Eisenman, UIL spokesperson. "But we'll see what the public thinks and make changes from there."

High school athletes we talked to about the program had mixed comments.

"	I think I'll stick to the 'roids	"

"Wow, they're only going to test three percent of us," said Arlen High School junior Joey Holts, third-string quarterback of the school's junior varsity football team. "Obviously the odds of getting caught are slim, so I think I'll stick to the 'roids. Maybe I'll be able to move up to second on the depth chart next season with them."

Kenton Berry, the starting center on Arlen High's varsity basketball squad, had a very different reaction.

"I've never touched steroids," said Berry. "I've always been afraid of my [testicles] shriveling up like raisins. The star basketball player can't have that! At least I won't have to give up all the yeyo I've been doing."

It should be noted that not all athletes are thrilled with the program. Tennis player Grace Alcocke thinks that the program doesn't go far enough.

"[The proposal is] weaker than wet toilet paper," said Alcocke. "The odds of being caught are next to none and the punishment is too weak. You have to sit out longer if you fail a class than if you test positive."

Those wishing to comment on the program are welcome to send their comments to steroids@mail.uil.utexas.edu. The comments are open for about two weeks.

Back and... who am I kidding, I suck just as much as before

The hiatus is officially off.

I needed some time to more or less reboot that part of my mind that deals with blogging.

<sarcasm>If I'd known it would take this long to reboot I would have upgraded the system while it was down!</sarcasm>

Anyways, I'm BACK!

But can the blogosphere handle my now-rejuvenated bloggy-ness? We'll just have to wait and see, huh?

Saving kitteh's toes

I'm taking a hiatus.

For how long? I haven't decided yet.

I've just been a little burnt out on the whole blogging thing I guess and just feel like I need a break.

You know, before I commit blog suicide and endanger Posey's toes.

But hey, keep checking me out, I still plan on doing Friday Photo during the hiatus (tho I think I"m going to skip this week).

Oh yea, I'll still be on Twitter.

Updated: I'd do something about how the new Zune software kicks ass, but...

...I'm stuck with this:

Bad omen if you're stuck trying to update firmware for 20 minutes.

UPDATE: After uninstalling and reinstalling the Zune software, it's working fine now.

Carnival of the Cats #190 - The 'quick and dirty' edition (fixed)

It's that time again. Time when the Carnival of the Cats gets weird because a dog's helping host.

Yes, that's right, Bruiser's helping host again.

Unfortunately, some stuff out of our control has popped up this time and I'm more or less stuck copying and pasting the BlogCarnival HTML. Pesky life, getting in the way of things!

Anyways, Bruiser, you ready to start?

Soon as I can get into the bathroom!

Alright then, I'll start without ya.

• jams o donnell presents Robyn posted at The Poor Mouth.
• Aloysius presents How to fall safely posted at Catymology.
• K T Cat presents Pulling an All Nighter posted at The Scratching Post.
• Debra presents Fresh and Clean posted at MANX MNEWS.
• Blueberry presents Running Behind in Catblogging posted at Texas Oasis.
• Parker presents Tasty Tuesday - Kitty Kookies! posted at Perfectly Parker.
• melinama presents Feline Friday: Hannah's cat posted at Pratie Place.
• Lab Kat presents Friday Cat Blogging: Yoga Edition posted at Lab Kat.
• sbpoet presents Prairie Mary's Cousin's Kittens posted at Watermark.

Ah, Bruiser's finally joining us.

Taffy said she wants to help too.

Fine by me.

• leucanthemum b presents Tuesday Tummy #13 and Friday Catblog: we're still having trouble focusing posted at composite drawlings.
• Jan Bussey presents Seal Proves Once and For All that on Gentlemen, Grey is Distinguished and In which Spectra poses for a high ISO test. posted at CascadeExposures.
• Mog presents Wordless Wednesday, Tummy Tuesday #67, Back and Dosed On Meowza posted at Mind of MogAs well as Wordless Wednesday and Dirty Clean posted at iMeowza and Right Neighborly and Kitties Three posted at iInfidel.

Can Petey help too, daddy?

I've got a bad feeling about this, but I guess...

• Sissy Willis presents "Blame someone else and sue" and You like me at sisu.
• Catherine presents Weekend Cat Blogging: Do We Have To? posted at spectacular imperfections.
• CatSynth (Amar and Luna) presents Weekend Cat Blogging and more Comfy and Clean posted at catsynth.com.
• Rahel presents Elms in the Yard posted at Elms in the Yard.
• Cassie presents Lion Cut In Winter? Or Not? and Man Cat Movie Monday posted at This, That & The Other Thing.

Since they're helping you can I go take a nap?

No, you promised me you'd help.

But I got you helpers!

You can nap after we're done, there's really not much left.

• Pet Monologues presents Caw to art! #1, a carnival of artistic animal pictures
• Samantha Black presents Photo Hunt #83-Flexible posted at Life From A Cat's Perspective..
• Gemini presents Tabby Tuesday Reports posted at Chey's Place.
• Megan & Bad Kitty Cats presents Dirty Trash Cat posted at Bad Kitty Cats Journal.
• john presents Maddie chimes in... posted at StrangeRanger.
• Cassie presents Woman Cat Wednesday #8: Indigo posted at This, That & The Other Thing.
• Babeth presents The weary warrior posted at House of Chaos.
• China Cat presents BKC Theme: Clean or Dirty posted at china cat's blog.
• willow presents BKC Theme: Clean or Dirty posted at willow's cat blog.

Alright y'all that's all I've got. Next week's supposed to be at Pet's Garden Blog.

If anybody's wondering, the problem that I had with the links was that in the code it used the " symbol twice instead of once for some reason. Windows Live Writer, my blogging software of choice, thus butchered the code royally. But hey, it's all worked out now.

At the ranch

Welcome to Friday Photo, a new feature where I share photos that I've taken with the world.

This week it's a couple photos I shot at the ranch we dropped Ashley off at on Monday:

I forget this pretty girl's name, but she's an adopted Australian Shepherd (mix I'm thinking) that serves as the watch dog for all the horses. She was really sweet.

And these are a few of the horses at the ranch. The white one you see in the front was actually walking up to me. It stopped right in front of me and demanded attention, so it got some petting.

Sassy's puppies

As part of my adventure to Houston the other day, I snapped some pictures of Sassy's puppies. Here are a few of the best ones.

As you can clearly see, these are some very adorable, and healthy, five week olds.

Next week they'll go to the vet's office for their first round of shots and they'll be for sale a week later.

And to think, with Ashley (another one of my mom's dogs) spending the week with Maverick (the daddy of these puppies) we'll be doing the puppy dance all over again in about two months.

The six way tie

Laurence got this week's weekly challenge posted. I participated in this crazy topic, and I thought I came up with a good story:

As Joe walked through the gates of hell, he watched a lime-colored pumpkin release a puff of blue smoke.

"What's that for?" he asked the ghostly squirrel guarding the gate.
"Means it's time for Satan to get his rocks off," said the squirrel. "If you see it, you have to report to Satan's castle and give him an orgasm."

"Oh, f***," said Joe. "Can I get around it?"

"There's a rumor that if you can tell him a really good rhyme he'll let you off," replied the squirrel.

"A sublime rhyme?" asked Joe.

"Try that one," said the squirrel.

So go and vote for the ones you think are best. Remember, they're checkboxes for a reason!

Having listened to the recording I should explain the beep. I've always thought that the beep left more of an impact than saying the word. Just listen to the recordings of Johnny Cash as Folsom prison and San Quentin and you'll see why.

Fighting? In hockey? You've got to be kidding me!

Welcome to Friday Photo, a new feature where I share photos that I've taken with the world.

Texas Wildcatters' number 59 Riley Emmerson jaws with the Florida Everblades bench during the first period of their game Sunday afternoon at Ford Arena.

After a goal that brought the score to 2-0, the Wildcatters' Riley Emmerson and Florida's Brad Herauf drop the gloves.

Riley Emmerson delivers the finishing blow to Brad Herauf, bringing Herauf to the ice. Both players were assessed five minute penalties for fighting in a game that the Wildcatters went on to win 5-3.

If y'all are interested, here's the box score for the game. I've got some other good pictures from that game which I'll probably run on here in the near future.

And, yes, I know Emmerson's way bigger looking than the other guy, but when you're 6'8" everybody looks small next to you.

The hammer throw

H/T: Deadspin

Why where you stand means everything:

I can sympathize with that actually. To an extent.

When I was in high school, I was on both newspaper and yearbook. I was a crappy writer (mainly out of laziness) but I was probably the best sports photographer on staff and was pretty good in the layout/design department as well.

My favorite thing was shooting football games. Lots of action, lots of fun, and the element of danger that at any moment a WR could run you over if you didn't watch yourself.

Thankfully that never happened!

However, one time when I was shooting a varsity game an incomplete pass one-hopped the ground and caught me square in the nuts.

Yea, it hurt.

Good times, eh?

Halloween

Halloween was last night.

Though you wouldn't have known it in our neighborhood.

As is usual, we didn't get a single trick-or-treater, which leaves a whole huge thing of candy for us to not let go to waste.

I can feel my waistline expanding now.

The trend in this town seems to be that kids will skip over most neighborhoods and either go to big events organized by churches or just do your standard trick-or-treating in the rich neighborhoods in the west end.

Honestly, I'm impressed. I would have never thought to do that.

Then again I grew up in said west end, so it wouldn't have really mattered anyway.

In semi-related news, here's a ghost video for y'all. I'd never heard the story behind that ghost before, but it's from a newspaper-sponsored blog, so it must be true.