They see me trollin’ They hatin’

Arizona’s apparently managed to take care of all the pressing issues facing the state since a bill that basically bans trolling on teh interwebz is sitting on Jan Brewer’s desk.

Being obnoxious on the Internet may soon cease to be a fundamental right in Arizona, where lawmakers approved a measure that effectively makes trolling illegal.

[…]

Like so much other knee-jerk technology legislation, Arizona’s bill is noble at heart. Its goal is to stop cyber-bullying by outlawing threats and intimidation delivered via Internet.

But as Media Coalition–an organization that includes film and music industry trade groups–points out, the bill is far too broad, both in its language and its scope. By using vague terms like “annoy” and “offend,” the bill risks criminalizing standard Internet practice of acting like a jerk in the comments section of a blog post. Because the bill isn’t limited to one-on-one communication, all open communication on the Internet could be considered a Class 1 misdemeanor if someone deemed the language offensive.

Never mind the mess of a legal battle this will create (like Arizona needs more with SB 1070 and the state’s reluctance to actually implement the medical-marijuana referendum passed the same year), it’s just another instance of government trying to regulate something it doesn’t understand.

I’m sorry, but the internet is not just a series of tubes. And it’s time that they figure that out.

Things I’ve learned from this year’s NCAA tournament

Random Thoughts style:

• Don’t look at your bracket the first weekend. It’s always going to look like garbage and a lost cause. It’s just a fact of life. It’s probably a good thing I was in Vegas getting married that first weekend, I didn’t have time to check it after Thursday
• For two of the three years I’ve tried to, I’ve had a better bracket than Obama. Kansas’ win tonight locked that up for me.
• I can put together a damn good bracket. Better than some of ESPN’s analysts, at least. And I probably don’t spend more than a half hour filling it out.
• Yes, one of the regionals was in Phoenix. No, I didn’t go. I only went in 2008 (language alert) so I could say I’ve been to one. It was a blast, but the whole thing’s too expensive IMO.

I feel like I really should have more to say about March Madness, but I don’t. Maybe because I haven’t watched much. Oh well.

And remember, kiddos, baseball season starts this week! GO ASTROS AND DIAMONDBACKS!

The wake up call

Jen and I just got back from Vegas and our wedding.

It was a lovely ceremony, a great time and a ton of fun.

Well, until we got this unexpected wake-up call at 4:30:

Turning it up to eleven

Boo and Cider are trying to be cute. And I must say they're succeeding. Guess I can sit somewhere else.

Small change to the blog…

…very small change.

Bet you can’t find it.

Avoid the produce section, ladies!

The latest from the “So Crazy it has to be True” department:

An Egyptian news outlet has a report that is causing an unusual stir. According to the Bikya Masr news service, an Islamic cleric in Europe has ordered Muslim women to prevent “sexual thoughts” by staying away from bananas, cucumbers, carrots, zucchini, and other phallic produce.

The unnamed sheikh reportedly advises that if women wanted to eat these kinds of food they would need to be cut into smaller pieces, in private, by a man — preferably a relative — because the foods “resemble the male penis” and could “make them think of sex.”

Of course, we all know that those objects don’t just make women think of sex. George Carlin alluded to the same thing in his 1990 stand-up special “Doin’ It Again.” Maybe he should have just suggested that everybody stay away from them?

I don’t know, but I’m thankful they’re not banned. Because I’m a guy. And guys are pigs.

It’s Science™.

(Image Source)

Hitler reacts

The “Hitler reacts to…” meme has to be one of my favorites of all time. And now, he reacts to the pepper spray meme

Bowling on pot

Yes, this actually happened. I'm in Texas on vacation and my brother takjed Jen and I into bowling no-taps with him. Anyway, one of the goofy things they do with it is the toilet shot, which is just what it sounds like. You buy tickets to enter and if you get a strike you win 50 bucks. Knock down 5 and you get a gift card. Well, I bought a couple tickets and my name was drawn.

I threw a gutter ball.

Trust me, it's way harder than you'd think.

So, um, yea, major life change or something like that.

Monday I took Beyonce's advice and put a ring on it. No, not on Beyonce, but my now-fiancee.

No date has been set.

Monkey!

The Phoenix Zoo has a really cool monkey habitat where you actually walk into their enclosure and they’re moving in the trees all around you. Very cool for pictures.