The latest from the “So Crazy it has to be True” department:
An Egyptian news outlet has a report that is causing an unusual stir. According to the Bikya Masr news service, an Islamic cleric in Europe has ordered Muslim women to prevent “sexual thoughts” by staying away from bananas, cucumbers, carrots, zucchini, and other phallic produce.
The unnamed sheikh reportedly advises that if women wanted to eat these kinds of food they would need to be cut into smaller pieces, in private, by a man — preferably a relative — because the foods “resemble the male penis” and could “make them think of sex.”
Of course, we all know that those objects don’t just make women think of sex. George Carlin alluded to the same thing in his 1990 stand-up special “Doin’ It Again.” Maybe he should have just suggested that everybody stay away from them?
I don’t know, but I’m thankful they’re not banned. Because I’m a guy. And guys are pigs.