[H/T Tater Tots For The Masses for the video]
Now it’s time for me to tell my own Santa story.
When I was in high school, every year at church we took a Saturday and watched everybody’s kids so their parents could go out and shop that day. One of the highlights was that Santa would come and we’d take pictures of all the kids with him for their parents.
Well, the last Santa visit of the day one year, I got drafted to play the big guy. I got the suit on and went in to greet the kids, sat down, and did the pictures. As I was leaving, some of the bigger kids realized it was me and tackled me and started to take the suit off of me.
I think they knew because my “Santa voice” sucked.
So, I’ve been Santa. And I was assaulted by 4th graders. Now you know.