WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (With a hurtful look on her face)
HUSBAND: (Makes loud groan)
WIFE: "Would you sleep in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do"
WIFE: "Would you play golf with her?"
HUSBAND: "I guess so."
WIFE: "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND "No, she's left handed."
WIFE: ---silence---
HUSBAND: "Shit...."
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Monday, May 02, 2005
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
ACLU causing problems
Am I shocked?
No.
The ACLU has always had an agenda. It would be fine if the ACLU actually protected civil liberties, but since when did people who try to enter this country illegally have the same rights that American citizens do? Simply put, the ACLU's job, as they see it, is to undermine the government in every way possible.
The reefer thing, now that sounds about right. Those definately aren't normal cigarettes.
Heads-up: Lone Star Times
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Astros Opening Day
6:00 PM can't get here soon enough people.
It's time to show Anna's Deadbirds who's boss :)
Honestly, I'll be happy for a split of the two-game series.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Friday, March 18, 2005
Look at the pretty little icon
Thanks to Dynamic Drive- FavIcon Generator for the info for how to do this.
It's next to the URL if you don't see it.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Astros first ST game was today
Astros 3 - Indians 7
Box score
Well, all I can say is thank goodness this is Spring Training. Redding, Hernancez, and Munro, who are all considered to be in the running for the 5th starter spot, stunk it up, all giving up at least three hits and two runs a piece in two innings of work.
They meet again tomorrow, and Clemens is suppossed to take the mound, so maybe we'll see something better.
But, like I said, this is early Spring Training, it really doesn't mean much.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
The triamphunt return of...
Yes... that's right my peeps... random thoughts...
My hockey team sucks. You know it's bad when they get taken behind the woodshed in an 8-0 loss.
Poor Casey, getting ditched by the girl that he was trying to set me up with at the last minute. What a shame.
Spring Training games start this week. Baseball's coming, I promise.
Why is Anna so obsessed with some words, like... um... BOINK?
Why do you get things when you're not looking for them and never get them when you want them?
Why does the above apply to women more than anything else?
My little brother and his girlfriend have been together for a year now. Good for them.
The NHL is dead. The AHL will take over the top spot.
Why do I update this thing?
Why do I find it funny when someone shocks themselves testing a power supply at school?
There are three things you can count on in life: Death, Taxes, and ECHL referee David Jones waiving off at least one good goal every game.
I should do something crazy during spring break this year, but I probably won't.
Note to self: Buy Astros tickets
That's all I got for now. I'd post more, but I gotta go out to lunch with the family. Catch y'all later.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Hey Anna...
BOINK!!!
As far as a real update, you'll get one probably Sunday... Either a return to random thoughts or talking about the gal that my best friend Casey is trying to dump off on me Saturday night. Poor guy, being chased around by all these gals he's not interested in. I WISH I had that problem.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Baseball better than football
Thirty reasons why baseball is way better than football
By RICHARD JUSTICE
Copyright 2005 Houston Chronicle
Baseball is not just better than football. It's way better. It's the only sport that captivates us every day of the year.
From the optimism of spring training to the ebb and flow of a regular season to the electricity of the playoffs, baseball draws us in, gets into our heads and compels us to keep coming back for more.
Even the hot stove league interests us. If we had a dominant starter. If they'll give that kid from Class AA a chance. If the stingy owner would just spend a little more.
On and on. Endless possibilities.
Some of you won't agree with this assessment that baseball is better than football. My friend, you've watched too much football.
Take a break and remember how you felt when Jeff Kent's homer soared out of the park in Game 5 of the National League Championship Series.
Has football ever given you a thrill like that? No, it hasn't.
As you savor that memory, I'm here with 30 others that'll get your head right for the start of spring training:
1. Parity — Baseball has it. Football doesn't. Baseball has had five champions the last five years. The New England Patriots have won something like 20 straight Super Bowls.
No cheerleaders allowed
2. Cheerleaders — Football has them. Baseball doesn't. Never has. Never will. Baseball doesn't need sex to sell its game.
3. Major League Players Association — Unlike football, baseball has a union that's strong and vibrant and watches out for the best interests of its players. There'll never be a salary cap in baseball.
4. Fenway Park — There's a magic there unlike any other place in sports. There's a stateliness that transcends even the special things that have happened there.
5. The Rocket — Every time he walks to the mound, it's an event. At 42, Roger Clemens has 328 victories, 4,317 strikeouts and seven Cy Young Awards. There has never been one like him.
6. Cooperstown, N.Y. — Baseball's Hall of Fame is so splendidly done, it would be special anyplace they put it. But having it in this lovely village enhances what's special. Football can't even come up with a legitimate selection process.
7. Instant replay — Let's stop a perfectly good game for 15 minutes while a guy looks at a television screen to find out what happened. Baseball understands the human element is part of the game.
8. Craig Biggio and Jeff Bagwell — They're beginning their 15th season together. They define professional and performance.
9. Quarterback ratings — Leave it to football to make one of its most important statistics one that almost no one understands.
10. All-Star Game — It's one of the showcase events in sports. It even counts for something. Does football still play the Pro Bowl?
11. Slogans — Football coaches paste them all over their locker rooms as if players have to be constantly reminded that playing hard and being unselfish is important. Most baseball players get it.
12. SBC Park — Stand on the walkway behind the right-field wall and take in the bay, emerald green field, San Francisco skyline and smell of garlic fries. There might not be a better place on earth.
Box scores rule
13. Box scores — One of the most important inventions of the last 100 or so years.
14. Overtime games — You mean a coin flip could decide it?
15. Bud Selig — He's the guy in your neighborhood who almost everyone likes. He's revered by players and owners alike for his integrity and toughness. His legacy will include labor peace, wild-card berths, interleague play and record-setting attendance. He'll be the commissioner all future ones will be measured against.
16. Paul Tagliabue — If we admired smugness, we'd make him king of the world.
17. Janet Jackson — You don't have to ask, do you?
18. Dodger Dogs — Research shows they're as close to the perfect food as now exists. And the setting at Dodger Stadium ain't too bad, either.
19. Quarterback school — Is it where you go to finish your degree? Why does the NFL have so many of them? There must be some really dumb quarterbacks.
20. 56 — Every baseball fan knows Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak is the single most unbreakable record in sports. Or maybe it's Ted Williams' .406 batting average in 1941. Or Nolan Ryan's 5,714 career strikeouts. Baseball's numbers are more than just numbers. They shake memories, provide reference points and are unlike those in any other sport.
21. Ticket prices — Take out a second mortgage if you want to see your favorite NFL team. Better yet, come to the ballpark, where there are still good seats for under $20.
22. Milo Hamilton — He's not the radio voice of the Astros as much as he's the background music of our summers. It's the same with Vin Scully in Los Angeles, Marty Brennaman in Cincinnati, Eric Nadel in Texas, Jon Miller in San Francisco and others. They're constant reminders why we love it.
23. Autographs — Baseball players sign 'em almost every day. Football players don't get close enough to the fans.
24. Bull Durham/Field of Dreams — Baseball has inspired wonderful movies. Football has North Dallas Forty.
25. Ballpark nachos — They remain Arlington Stadium's lasting contribution to the game. They have all the basic food groups. Napkins required.
Don't need T.O.
26. Terrell Owens — Baseball would consider him a bore. Football sees him as a cult hero.
27. Billy Wagner — He's 5-9 and throws 100 mph. Next.
28. September — There's nothing like the grinding, relentless pressure of a pennant race. The season rides on almost every pitch. The players are physically spent and mentally exhausted, and yet, they remember forever how great it was.
29. Coaches who sleep in their offices — Does it really help? What exactly are you trying to prove? Baseball managers go to dinner, not to the office, after games.
30. The World Series — Nine days. Seven games. Curt Schilling's stitched ankle. Priceless.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Super Bowl predictions
For the Game:
NE, although I did pick Philly on one board because it was my only chance of winning the pick-em
The Spread:
NE by 7
Philly, it's gonna be less than a touchdown diference, the teams are too good
Over/Under:
47½
Defense beats offense, and these are two of the best defenses in the game. Under
Friday, January 21, 2005
Monday, January 17, 2005
Round 3 picks
PHI
NE
Philly was an easy pick, I just can't see Vick performing terribly well against the Philly D in that weather.
As far as the NE - PIT game, it's a hard pick to make. That's gonna be a close game, NE by less than 7
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Monday, January 10, 2005
NFL Playoff Predictions for round 2
ATL
PHI
PIT
NE
A note about the Philly, Minnessota game: On the last play of the game, Eagles FS Brian Dawkins will, in a tackle of Vikings WR Randy Moss, manage to pull down Moss' pants and cause him to moon the Philly crowd, which will immediately rush the field and kick his a**.
Monday, January 03, 2005
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