Uh, there's something I need to do. What was it? *looks at wrist* Oh yeah!!!

After her recent asthma attack, Lindsay Lohan got a tattoo to remind her to breathe.

I knew she was dumb, but sheesh

Hat-tip: Cinomed from Laurence Simon's Dead Pool | Link to post

I'm tempted...

I like cold weather.

I always have.

Cold weather this winter has been even harder to come by than normal.

I'm tempted to move to St. Louis right now just to experience some. I hear it's been warmer than normal there too, but it's still cooler than a normal winter here.

Seriously, I don't think we've had a freeze yet.

Me. Behaving

Yea, that's right.

I was at the bowling alley earlier tonight for league and the good-lookin new gal behind the counter at the kitchen asked me "what do you want?" because she apparently forgot I'd asked for a Dr. Pepper, so I said "Dr. Pepper."

Someone else that works there was at the counter with me and said that he thought that was rude, so she said "What do you want, sir? What would you like, sir?"

My response?

"If I told you I'd get slapped"

And that was behaving... for me.

IMAO: How Dumb Is the Democratic Base?

IMAO: How Dumb Is the Democratic Base?

This site just moved up on my list...

Rita's sense of humor

Under the News: Here's your sign

Don't you hate it when that happens?

Le' Paris (Hilton)

Teased from Laurence Simon's Dead Pool | Dead Pool tease

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Paris Hilton voted 2005’s most hated celebrity - Newindpress.com

OK, say it with me now... DUH!!!

All I want to know about her is weither or not she should be captured by the government as a danger to society. The girl has to be walking around with every STD known to man, and probably one or two that we don't know about. They're bound to kill her. That, my readers, is why she's on my roster.

Of course, knowing my luck, all those STD's are probably busy fighting over who's the best that they don't have any time to focus on what they're suppossed to do.

And before you ask, no I wouldn't hit it. Not even with a stolen dick, as George Carlin would say.

2006: New Beginnings

It's finally here.

2006 is gonna kick ass.

I've got some goals (I refuse to call them resolutions)

• Get in shape
• Move to a different part of the country
• Get into, and pass, the police academy wherever I move to
• Win Laurence Simon's Dead Pool

Simple enough, right???

Well, maybe not the dead pool one, but the others :)

Speaking of the dead pool, I wrote about T.O. yesterday since he's on my roster. In it, I prophecy how he will meet his demise. Don't let me down Eagles fans, I know you can do it.

And happy new year to all three of my readers.

It should not be like this...

It's Christmas freakin Eve... and 70. About this time last year we were getting snow.

I guess it's better that we're not getting snow... people here can't drive in it for anything.

Not feeling too Christmas-y

It's been a rough year. REALLY rough.

Between losing three friends (yes, THREE), Rita, my usual problems with members of the opposite sex and all the other boring crap that goes on in my seriously fucked-up existence it's been a really tough time.

I'm just looking forward to 2006. It can't be any worse I don't think... unless my moving to a different part of the country turns out to be a total bust... which it won't. *crosses fingers*

I leave you with a gift straight from Belvedere on the West end of town:

Random thoughts

Strap in, kiddos, this is going to be a long one.

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According to this, the Palestinians have expanded their "parliament" to 132 seats so they can say that they're "more democratic" than the 120-seat Israeli equivalent. What a joke.

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Casey and Chaggy, the Penguins suck.

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The Stars and Flames, however, are kicking butt and taking names.

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The Texans o-line sucks so bad that I'm putting David Carr in my death pool for next year.

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The Texans choke-job yesterday is the worst thing I've ever seen.

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Harvard may be a big deal, but C students from public universities run the world.

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A court hearing I was suppossed to attend this week got pushed back, so I'm pissed. I was looking forward to getting it over with :(

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But that really isn't pissing me off too bad, my now-ex did a good enough job of that yesterday.

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Isn't CIFOC awesome? And Isn't Billy-Bob the Elf the greatest?

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That's all I got for today, kiddos. l8r.

Blogging from the North Pole

Christmas is Full of Crap

Merry Christmas indeed :)

It's a good site, really, it's craptacular.

Random thoughts will make it's triumphant return next week, when I plan to start blogging on nearly a daily basis.

Great video

Oh my.

I've seen it all now...

This has to be the funniest thing i've seen in a good while... even if the music (Backstreet Boys) sucks.

Hat-tip: MeMo

Under the News: Katrina vs Rita: Facts and fancies

I thought this was a good one... link

ASTROS IN THE SERIES!!!

YES!!!

That's all I can say right now... well that and GO ASTROS!!! BEAT THE SOCKS OFF THE SOX!!!

Rita Pictures

Two pictures, both were taken on October 5.

Our front yard post-Rita. If you look behind the tree trunk in the front, you'll see the roots of the other tree in our yard that came down... much, much bigger tree. Maybe I'll go out later with my digital camera and take a picture of it... that one hasn't been moved yet.

Click for full size.
If you look to the right, you'll see an SUV that was OWNED by the Jack in The Box sign.

Maybe I'll get more up later.

Justin's not-so-excellent adventure

Rita's a b****

And so is spending 25 hours in a car to get out of her way.

I'm in Fort Worth. Our house didn't suffer any major damage, but the lights are out so there's no point in going back yet.<.p>

When we can, we will, and I'll post pictures... or something... whenever our internet is back up. That may be a while.

The return of Cindy Sheehan

She's back!!!

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It has been one month and one week since I sat in a ditch in Crawford, Tx. I can hardly believe it when I think of it myself. So much has happened in that time, and really, so little.

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Really? Last I checked a huge hurricane flooded a major U.S. city.

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When I reflect on how the mother of the imbecile who is running our country said that the people who are in the Astrodome are happy to be there, it angers me beyond comparison. The people in LA who were displaced have nice, if modest homes that are perfectly fine. I wonder why the government made them leave at great expense and uproot families who have been living in their communities for generations.

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Really? You should explore this just a little bit. Do you really know a thing about hurricanes???

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Even though Algiers [Louisiana] came through Katrina relatively unscathed, our federal government tried to force (mostly successfully) the people out of the community.

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It's called an evacuation, hun. They do them all the time.

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They didn’t want to go to the Superdome, because their homes were pretty intact: they wanted to stay and have food and water brought to them.

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Yes, because the government has nothing better to do than be waiters for the morons who stayed behind. Oh, wait, the LA governor and mayor were pointing fingers the whole time. And we all know that expecting people to take care of themselves is insanely unrealistic.

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When I think of how many other poor neighborhoods are being decimated and made so desperate and hopeless by the failed policies of the Bush administration, it makes me so angry.

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Yea, because we all know that Bush warmed up the gulf to insanely warm tempratures and steered it to New Orleans. Riiiiiiight.

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One thing that truly troubled me about my visit to Louisiana was the level of the military presence there.

But what I saw was a city that is occupied. I saw soldiers walking around in patrols of 7 with their weapons slung on their backs. I wanted to ask one of them what it would take for one of them to shoot me. Sand bags were removed from private property to make machine gun nests.

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You should have told them who you were. That might have been enough.

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The vast majority of people who were looting in New Orleans were doing so to feed their families or to get resources to get their families out of there.

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Yes, because that DVD player's going to get you out of town.

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America stepped up to the plate to hold George accountable for the abomination in Iraq.

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Maybe that imaginary one in your head.

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If George Bush truly listened to God and read the words of the Christ, Iraq and the devastation in New Orleans would have never happened.

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I consider that an insult to my faith.

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George Bush needs to stop talking, admit the mistakes of his all around failed administration, pull our troops out of occupied New Orleans and Iraq, and excuse his self from power. The only way America will become more secure is if we have a new administration that cares about Americans even if they don't fall into the top two percent of the wealthiest.

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Maybe when you shut up.

cindy sheehan commercialls

I've been watching a lot of CNN, FOX News, and the like this week... I'm a news junkie, what can i say?

<rant>

Anyways, today I started seeing these Cindy Sheehan commercialls on TV. They make me want to throw my TV out the window into one of the humongous vats at the ExxonMobil refinery near my house. Don't get me wrong, I feel bad for her losing her son and all, but I'm getting sick and tired of hearing about the b****. I'm not saying that the war was the right thing, I honestly do not know anymore. But pulling everybody out right now is the biggest mistake we could make. We made the mess, we need to clean it up. We need to make sure that the Iraqis are self-sufficient and then handle the pullout delicately.

It's either that or nuke the f***ing place and let God sort 'em out, and I don't like the latter idea.

So, Cindy Sheehan, SHUT UP!!!

</rant>

Brad Lidge pWNED!!!

Or at least his Baseball-Reference page... soon as my message gets approved.

Now I just have to find more to get... too bad the 1908 Cubs page is taken :)

Birthday Scam

Birthday Scam

Just listen.