Friday, April 14, 2006

The end is near

(A Filthy Lie)

It's coming...

On December 12, 2012 at 11:11 AM GMT


At least that's what former Philadelphia Phillies catcher Darren Daulton (Wiki, Stats), a.k.a. Dutch, says.

Dutchy has many strange beliefs, but in an exclusive interview he's revealed to me the real cause of the end of the world, and that it has nothing to do with the Mayan calendar, as previously claimed.

"Yea, that whole mayan calendar thing turned out to just be a conicidence," Daulton said. "The real cause of the apocolypse is a lawyer from the University of Tennessee."

I asked him to explain

"The lawyer will be presenting a case concerning an enviromental law to the U.S. Supreme Court and will only say 'heh,' 'indeed,' and '<a href="" target="_blank">," said Daulton. "It's really weird."

I had a sneaking suspicion who had put the lawyer up to it, so I asked him if he knew.

"Yes I do," said Daulton. "His name is Glenn Reynolds. He was a professor at the University of Tennessee when the lawyer attended law school there."

Dutchy then went on to inform me that Reynolds had left the University of Tennessee and was serving as the governor of the state.

I thanked Dalton for his time and wished him the best.

You have no idea how much I'm hoping that Dutchy is wrong. It's a scary thought that Evil Glenn would be elected to anything.

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